As someone once said ... "Nothing is so strong as gentleness and nothing is so gentle  as real strength".

Over the past four years, since Les was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, I have witnessed his suffering, waited for the complaints and evidences of self pity (which never came) and so often quietly wept in private at my inability to help him and to ease the suffering which was so evident on his face as he quietly accepted what fate had  handed him. For a musician and pianist it was as if his very reason for being was being swept away from him, and yet he never ever complained. Nor did he ever grow impatient or annoyed with me when I did things which I know must have irritated him. I am hardly the easiest person to live with at the best of times as I am all too well aware and yet he never once has shown anger or even annoyance toward me.  I am truly blessed.

 The irony which is so much a part of life manifested itself  shortly before we were married. We had both retired, Les was immersed in creating and maintaining his web site, MIDI Studio, and was so looking forward to creating a living record of his music. Creating midis was a way he could leave his music to his children and grandchildren. And he had reached a point where his knowledge of MIDI creation was up to the standard he demands from himself. Les never does anything halfway when it comes to his music. Only excellence will suffice.

 When he was diagnosed with RA I know he was sure  that his days as a pianist were over. In the early days and for what seemed  like forever he suffered so much that playing was literally impossible. And when he did try he was not happy with the quality of his playing.  Gradually as time passed and  the experimentation with different medications seemed to be a fruitless search for an answer and a torturous journey to nowhere I felt as if my heart was breaking for him. And still, he never gave up.

 And now, finally,  thank God it appears as if  the doctors have actually come up with a medication which he can tolerate and which does seem to be helping. Finally, this dear man  is getting the relief he so richly deserves. And, our home is again filled with the wonderful sound of my husband's music. He is so happy to be once again able to play that there are not enough hours in the day for him.  My one worry is that he must not overdo. I do understand his need to play, and I most assuredly will never complain because he chooses to  spend so much time at his keyboard but I do worry that he might try to do too much too soon.

 Don't misunderstand, he does still have bad days, but they are less frequent and he is enjoying life again. Growing older is never easy for any of us but for this man, who has borne more pain than any one should be asked to bear, this time is precious. A gift he never expected, and one he fully intends to enjoy. And, as his wife who loves him dearly, I thank God for every single moment.

 Lest you think this page is too personal I ask you to understand my reasons for  composing it. It is in a small way my Valentine to my husband and one I want to share with all our friends, so many of whom have  stood by knowing Les was suffering and who have genuinely cared about his well being. They have earned the right to share in  our happiness now that he is enjoying an almost normal life again.

 If you wonder if I am prejudiced about my husband's talent  I offer you  tangible proof of the veracity of my claim. The music you hear playing in the background is  his Valentine to me. Created this past week because he knows how I love this song. Hearing the sounds coming from his music studio this past week as he composed this midi has been a week long valentine  knowing that the music was being created by the sweet gentle man I love so much specifically for me. Of course it is also  now available to all who wish to share the enjoyment but knowing how far we have come is a priceless gift in itself.

 Les has recently also created  CD's of his midis which are available on his site. Two  are now completed and a third is in progress. I will include a link to the CD's on this page of course.  You will find the link at the bottom of the page which will allow you to preview the individual tracks.

 I know Les will find this page rather embarrassing as he is such a private person but he must know by now that his wife comes with  her own distinct personality and a part of that is she has no compunction about saying exactly what she  thinks and believes. Perhaps his  understanding of that will extend to accepting her idiosyncrasies even in this case. I admit I am not too concerned as by now I  am pretty darn sure he is never surprised at what she may do and has already made allowances in advance for any action she may take.

So much is written and believed about the 'Golden Years' but there is so much more which only experiencing those years  teaches us. There is much to be thankful for but there is also a price to be paid and we  are all called to account one way or another.  Just  as these years bring a slower pace and a deeper appreciation for each day they also bring burdens which no one escapes. Those fortunate enough to share these years with a loved one must count the good days as bonuses as so often we find aches and pains  are also a factor at this time in our lives.  Why should this surprise us ? Hasn't life taught us that everything comes at a price ? If the reward is worth having then the price paid is small in comparison although at times we may not be so willing to accept  this. One needs to remind oneself from time to time that our blessings do out weigh the costs. I know I only need to hear music  from the windows of our home as I work in my garden, or sit quietly watching our fish enjoying the sunlight on the water of the pond to be reminded how wonderful life can be.  Hearing our canaries competing for  attention as Les plays is a very big plus and one which invariably makes me smile. I am not certain if they realize that is Daddy making that noise but they certainly do their best to drown him out ! Music critics ? I think not. More likely they are simply reminding us that they also are enjoying the day.

 I do hope you are all as lucky as we are and find time to enjoy each moment of each good day.  There are always more good moments than bad, even now, if we remember that our attitudes dictate most of our perceptions.