The elders of the family were cherished and very much a part of  a family's day to day life. There was a recognition that those with the advantage of having lived long lives had much to teach  and to give to our children. How things have changed. Today children must be supervised at all times and we banish our  elderly to nursing homes or , if we do provide them a place in our homes and in our lives all too often  they are considered a burden and resented. 

 Another example of how times have changed was graphically  shown to me on my last grocery shopping excursion.  I questioned why the variety and  selection was becoming so limited in the supermarket I frequent and was told ... no one cooks or bakes anymore. People are too busy. They buy pre-packaged and frozen foods because they don't have the time for food preparation. Frankly that didn't surprise me greatly as I know most parents must both work outside the home just to keep up with expenses and coming home knowing you have hours of work ahead of you is a depressing prospect after a difficult day.  But what a lot they are missing ! Nothing can beat the aromas emanating from a kitchen where dinner is in the oven when a hungry family  returns home after a day coping with the stress of a hard day. Or the smells of chili sauce or home-made jam  in the process of being prepared to be sealed into sparkling jars on canning day. I can still remember the smell of fresh baked bread fresh from the oven  making my mouth water as I came in from school so long ago. Nothing can beat  that first slice from a still warm loaf of home-made bread which I would wheedle from Grandma and  which needed no accompaniment other than a bit of butter to make it taste like ambrosia. Always the caution was .. ' you are going to spoil your dinner ' but  said with a small smile and, as I now realize, a  sense of satisfaction that her efforts were appreciated.

 We have made so many advances in the years since I was a child but I seriously question just how much better off we are. Family life has been the price we have paid and the cost has been far too high.  It didn't have to be this way. It is incredibly sad that we have been so short sighted and discarded that which was of such great value. Perhaps had we shown more caution many of the  problems we face today might have been avoided. Grandparents are  a treasure to be cherished and  in today's world  far too often we haven't the common sense to realize it.

A growing shame in our modern society, and one which seems to be increasing with each year that passes is the abuse of those to whom we owe the most. Our older generation gave us so much always and asked only that  we return the love they gave so unselfishly to us.  Are we so self involved that we can stand by and allow this to  to happen to those who are every bit as helpless as the abused child ? Much is made of child abuse and  I thank God there is a growing awareness that the problem must be addressed but elder abuse is discussed only in hushed tones or ignored.  The shame which accompanies this abuse all too often acts as a deterrent to speaking out for those who are the victims of this horrendous situation. 

The dilemma the elderly face in an abusive situation is whether fear of more abuse is stronger than avoiding the  abject shame  which will accompany revealing information to the outside world.  How  does a parent confess that their child  is guilty of abusing them ? The feelings of  shame in conjunction with family loyalty all too often mean that it goes undetected and the elderly parent  suffers in silence. Statistics show that  elder abuse is a tragedy that affects between four and ten percent of our seniors and which goes largely unreported. 

The threat of an even worse situation, such as being institutionalized, as well as the need to protect the privacy of the family at all costs, keeps the victim silent, even unwilling, to seek necessary medical attention. Such reticence makes addressing this tragedy even more difficult. 

Elder abuse occurs with a rate and frequency only slightly less than that of child abuse. Although any older person can become a victim, the frail and impaired, especially women, run a greater risk of becoming victims. Abuse may consist of physical, verbal, or psychological abuse, neglect, violation of rights, and in many cases, financial exploitation.  And all of this at the hands of those from whom they have every right to expect love and understanding.  Much is made in society today of those who are derelict and homeless as crocodile tears are shed but few solutions are forthcoming. In my opinion it is infinitely worse for families to abandon those whom they are honour bound to respect and hold dear. Certainly old age can be difficult but so was raising children and providing a loving home. They didn't shirk their responsibility nor did they withhold their love. How dare we do less ? One day we will all be in their shoes. Are we prepared to meet that day and suffer the broken hearts we so heedlessly inflict on them ?

 This poem may seem harsh but it tells a story which happens far too often in this so-called 'compassionate society' we have created. Shame on us for being so uncaring and cruel to those who ask only for the kindness and consideration even an animal has every right to expect. So what if it is difficult at times ?  Damn it ! We owe them that, and so much more !