Perhaps I haven't always said so and I most assuredly am not a great correspondent  but there is hardly a day goes by that I don't think of my  baby sister. I know she is no longer a 'baby' but to me she always will be that adorable little sweetheart  who brought so much joy to our home so many years ago.

It was wartime and our family lived each day with the loneliness Mommy felt because Daddy was so far away. John and I  were quite young but we were old enough to know that  things just were not right.  Daddy had been gone for months and would be gone for years before he returned from the battlefront. Mommy tried to make our home a happy place but we knew she was very lonely a lot of the time.  When Mommy was sad we instinctively felt it too.

 We had no idea she was harbouring a very special secret. In those days parents were not as open with their children, nor did they prepare the children for  a new arrival as they do today. The day you were born is still engraved on my mind and has always been one of the happiest memories of my life. I can still hear Grandma explaining to us that we would be staying with her and Grandpa for a few days as Mommy was in the hospital with our new baby sister.

 John and I could not wait to tell everyone ! We must have  visited every single home on the street to inform them of our amazing news. And we counted the days until Mommy would bring you home. I think we spent hours that first day you and Mommy came home just standing staring at the tiny miracle in the wicker basket and begging to be allowed to hold you. Needless to say ...  this was only allowed once we had stopped jumping around and were sitting quietly in a chair with Grandma close by, only then were you placed in our arms. And only later did I realize that Grandma's hands never left your head and your bottom. We were after all, only youngsters ourselves. Perhaps because there were already two of us there was never a hint of jealousy, only immediate and unconditional love for this miracle we definitely considered as belonging solely to us.

 Those next three and a half years were perhaps the happiest years of my childhood. How we loved to play with you and see you laugh. We were a close knit little group during those years and  the only men who were ever around were Grandpa and Uncle Len so you had a real problem if a strange man happened to come near you. I still remember how we spent weeks, once we knew Daddy was on his way home, practising with you so you wouldn't scream when he wanted to hold his new daughter. Which he would probably want to do immediately seeing as he had been waiting for over three years to do exactly that. You learned quickly, ( you were a  pretty smart little gal) and we were fairly sure it would all go well.  I still remember the look on your face as he picked you up, kissed you and began to talk to you .. you turned your head ... looked at Mommy and with your lower lip quivering quite visibly said in a tiny voice ... " I kissed him Mommy, now ... can I get down ?"

 During all the years until I left home you were so special. Yes, I know at times I complained that it was a drag to have you tagging along when I was a teenager but I always loved you. The one sad part about leaving home was leaving you. Somehow things were never the same again. And then you and Mom and Dad moved so far away and I missed out on all those years as you grew up. Time we can never recover. And a closeness lost, maybe forever. So many years passed and we were virtual strangers. My heart never really healed from the loss of my baby sister.  I  thought I had lost you forever. 

 But life has a way of  working out eventually and now I don't only have a sister. I have a  friend for life. I am so proud of the way you have coped with all the pain  of RA you have suffered these past years. I don't know if I could ever have been as strong had I been the  one facing what you have faced, and continue to face each and every day..  This page may embarrass you because it is so personal but as I reach this time in my life I really need you to know just how important you have been, and are to me. Somehow it is easier to write it than to say it.

I just want you to know how happy I am to have you for my Sister. There are times.. like right now... when I need to let you know exactly how I feel. To put it simply, I don't just love you ... I really like you ! It's true that we've had disagreements over the years, but  I believe that's how we have come to know one another better... and to respect and value the other's uniqueness. You have a real talent for knowing just when I need you the most and you've always been there when I turn to you. I guess you instinctively know that even big sisters occasionally need a hug.

You brought something so very special to our family. Life just wouldn't be the same without knowing you are there. The  wonderful memories you've given me are among my most precious moments. I truly am so happy to have you as my sister!

 I love you Julia. Infinitely more than you have ever realized.