When we first make the decision to have children most of us are young, have no real idea of just what an awesome responsibility parenting will be, and only know we want a wee baby to love. We have no experience to draw on other than that which we have observed as we were growing up. Too often this in no way prepares us for what lies ahead. 

Parenting takes a lot of love, a great deal of time, and a never ending  supply of patience and understanding. All things which are not as a rule strong points  with a  young parent  who all too often hasn't taken the time or  really doesn't have the maturity to consider what a momentous decision this is in today's world.  No decision we make has as long lasting an effect or so changes our lives.

 Once we become a parent  we no longer come first. Our child takes  that position in our minds and our hearts  never to be dislodged so long as we live.  And that is exactly as it should be. For those who are not prepared for this responsibility parenting can be a burden which can create resentment and a failure to accept the parenting role  in totality. The ones who suffer because of this are unfortunately those least able to cope with or understand it... the children who are so vulnerable and  so easily irreparably harmed. Those first years are so critical. And all as we learn how to be parents  and before we realize just how important even little things can be in the formulating of a child's self esteem and self image.

Did I mention that there is also an inordinate amount of joy involved as well ? Because nothing in your life will give you more pleasure than seeing your child's face glow with anticipation, happiness and excitement.  And nothing will cause  you to  feel as if your heart is aching so easily as seeing your child face disappointment or hurt in circumstances beyond your control. The demands are many but the rewards  too numerous to count. From the moment they place your child in your arms for the very first time every day for the rest of your life that wee babe will fill your heart with a warmth  which can not be described with mere words. As with most things that love also comes with  worry as you watch your child grow and  as they venture forth to new vistas where Mommy cannot fix every hurt with a kiss or a hug.

Letting go can be as difficult as any part of the parenting experience.  The time comes when we cannot always keep them safe . We have to hope we have prepared them properly to meet whatever comes their way once they leave the nest and even though you so much want to  protect them you know that they must be allowed to make their own mistakes if they are to grow and reach maturity as a responsible adult. These years can be difficult as you see the ones who fill so much of your heart  faltering, just as we did at their age, and yet we must stand by and  watch, always ready to comfort, or applaud as the case may be, and yet holding our tongues as these young adults find their way. If we are  successful in restraining our instinct to  intrude we will find they do just fine and in the end we will discover we not only have raised a self sufficient adult but in the process acquired a lifelong friend who will love  and respect you just as you do them.

Nothing we do in life is more rewarding or fulfilling and yet there is a wistful part of you which will always yearn for those days  when as a young parent you shared in the excitement your child experienced with each new adventure or discovery. Those years were not always easy but the joy of watching the small being you have been charged with raising  grow into the adult they will become will never be surpassed in your lifetime.

 Cherish every single moment for they go by so quickly. One day they are a wee child snuggling in your arms and the next they are independent individuals with lives of their own. If you have done your job well you will always be a part of their lives. If you have not , you will find you carry an emptiness within you that nothing will ever fill.

 Parenting is never easy but in life nothing really worthwhile ever is. And nothing is more worthwhile than  making the job of parenting a priority above all others.  Yes, you do have  others in your life who will share a large part of your time and your love but none will need you as your children will in those early years. 

 Perhaps it would be much wiser to use the words of a writer with a talent far surpassing mine when it comes to  putting into words what being a parent entails  ...

When the good Lord was creating mothers He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around with this one."

And the Lord said, "Have you read the specs on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; Have 180 moveable parts... all replaceable; Run on black coffee and leftovers; Have a lap that disappears when she stands up; A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair; And six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands... no way."

"It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord. "It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."

"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.

The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, "What are you kids doing in there?" when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, "I understand and I Love You" without so much as uttering a word."

"Lord", said the angel, touching His sleeve gently, "Come to bed. Tomorrow..."

"I can't," said the Lord, "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick' can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger... and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed.

"But tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure."

"Can it think?"

"Not only think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You. You were trying to put too much into this model."

"It's not a leak," said the Lord, "it's a tear."

"What's it for?"

"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride."

"You are a genius," said the angel.

The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there."